There has been problems between us.. What was the triggering factors remain unknown.. Bitching behind each other... drifting apart day by day... division starts appearing... outing together was limited..

But yet when we see each other.. Everyone pretend that nothing happens and tat things were normal... Strange...

Insensitive remarks were thrown around and we were not what we used to be... things mellowed down now but yet each and everyone of us knows that the cracks existed...

I guess everyone is sick and tired of doing anything to heal the cracks...

To sae that i started everything would be unfair to me and i shall not discount myself because EVERYONE plays a part in making a friendship work... I guess we have stopped trying to play a part in our friendship..

Sometimes honesty hurts me but after thinking everything through and rationalizing everything.. i am ready to face honesty and truth..

Frankly i dun think i have ever been a good friend to any of you nor have i being anywhere near a bad friend to any of you.. I guess my major flaw are that i being very sensitive and i refuse to open up.. This creates a barrier between me and anybody around me... I blame no one but myself...

However i guess i am slowly redeeming myself and has began to open up... open up not to anyone but shafa and hana... they provide me with the security and assurance that they wun judge me and they listen...

Dewi once told me " nt everyone is really comfortable with each other. yes we all can share laughters & stuffs. but it isnt the same when sharing feelings, tots & secrets..." Thinking through her words i realise yeah it is true.. i guess i was just being naive to think that we could all share thoughts together.. and so i grow out of it.. I shall not torture myself anymore wanting all the MISFITS to share each other thoughts and secrets..
I am sorry Misfits for expecting that from all of you.. Thanks you to shafa and hana for being my confidant.. I appreciate it alot..

It is no longer a secret that there exist cliques between us..
clique 1: Shafa, lynn & hana
clique 2: Dewi, aini & farz
All of us know it and it is happening... It is nobody fault that we all end up this way...

Hey this will sound childish..haha! I guess what is bothering is that dewi, aini & farz dun ask us along to any of your outings whereas we do ask you all to join us... i guess maybe you all doubt our sincerity and you all may thought that we ask you all just for the sake of askin.. well heck No.. when we ask you all it means we wan you to join us.. Childish right...?

Well i do not know why is it this way and i just dun understand... So is it the time for us to stop asking each other out....

and this is my confession...
Ever since what has happen between all of us.. i grew uncomfortable with Dewi, Aini & farz.. i suppose you all could sense my indifference towards you all.. I am sorry but that is how i feel.. i cannot talk comfortably with you nor am i able to show you my sincere smile... I feel hurt inside... as long as the hurt is still there my indifference remain..
dun get me wrong.. i am not saying i do not want to be frens with you anymore but rather i need time to heal just like all of you.. i guess this holiday is a good time for it...

Sorry for being Emo cause i know you dun like but this is how i am.. emotional over things...

But hey... i didnt mean that we cannot go out during the holidays together... do hope we could still go out together once in awhile...

Entry by : Nooradlin Marina