being a nurse is a great eye-opener for me i suppose.. throughout my one year of being a student nurse, up to this date i have not done any last offices... today i saw a patient who was not in a good condition.. when i took his parameters i got BP readings of 76/45... it was so low.. i told the staff nurse and she asked me to take again in about 1/2 hr time. i took again and the reading was worse... before i carry on, let me tell you that i'm in a cardio-thoraic ward... this patient has IHD, old CVA, TVD, AMI all all sorts of heart probs and he's 75 yrs old... Hoi sum and i was very excited as we told ourselves that finally we got to do last office... it was almost 9 and we were like "damn, there goes our chance if he die tonite" we left the ward heavy-heartedly. while passing my cubicle i could see his family gathering around the bed "preapring" for the worse.

i was so bold when i took his parameters... he was there on the first day i was assigned to the ward and i could see his condition worsen each day. his grand-daughter said that his condition was getting from bad to worse.. how bold of me to tell the grand-daughter hope for the best.. i mean what was i thinkng.. maybe wat i said made the small gathering... when i told eileen and hoi sum they say wat i said was rite.. i was like huh? really??

i will be disappointed if he really die today.. there goes my chance (so bad huh).. but before you think that i was really bad.. read on first before you conclude... while walking to the bus stop eileen and i was talking about death.. nursing actually let us look at the unglamourous side of life... wat if we have to face death of our own loved ones.. do we really gonna end up marryng the person we really love today in the future??? Coincidently, my fren broke up with someone she have been with for 5 years. they almost tie the knot... these things make me wonder... we dun have the power to control our future.. the person we once treasure so much wont be the person we will spend our whole life with... and we dun have the power to keep who we want to be with... and no matter how fit you are you surely gonna die one day... talking to my pt. enable me to realise all these.. one of them ask me.. "Why must i get heart attack when i exercise all day and take care of wat i eat?"

all these are fated.. and it's He (Allah) who decide your future.. i also got many hep A, B, C pt. and why they get all these diseases? because they enjoy their life too much.. without thinking that they dun live forever.. i'm sorry if i have to say these and hurt any of your (readers) feelings indirectly... but the way you live in your teenage days actually leave a graet effect on your life later... i got pt. who have STD and stuffs... and i feel that they deserve it as they forget that they dun live forever.. even if you have protected sex doesnt mean you are lucky enuff to get away with STD.. Never take things likely.. it's so sad to see these ppl.. they regretted with the way they live.. but it was too late..

well my dear misfits, looking at all the ppl fighting for their lives, i learnt to traesure my loved ones... and you fall on my loved ones list.. do take care of yourself and remember Him always.. you may enjoy but up to a certain limitations... i thank my parents with all the curfews and strict ways they have brought me up. i was greatful enough that i didn't fell into that wildful category and didnt make my teenage life a disastrous one.. (ok i know one of you will be sayng i'm gonna be the makciks and pakciks family soon joinng farhana, pakcik and lin..) Love ya'll.. AiNi