finally satu2 da tulis....
at this moment.. lemme say sumthing...
pakcik agree and pakcik admit....
pakcik can neva feel what u women feel....
but past 3 years you all have made me understand abit more what's in a women's heart.. and im still learning...
at this moment.....
we have these choices to make:
1) feel sore about it and let it be a thorn in your heart forever
2) keep the feelings and pretend
3) avoid each other all the way hoping that we wont cross each other path animore
4) BUANG YANG KERUH AMBIL YANG JERNIH.....START EVERYTHING AFRESH.. and i mean EVERYTHING erase and in our hearts we are like the first day hana named us 'misfits'
for me, i dun any benefit of choosing 1 to 3. You may say again.... "pakcik u dun understand what we feel..." but im going for the best option... No. 4.
you all have the freedom to choose....
untuk korang nya info.... wateva words or actions that u all have made that upset me me ... or times whare i was totally left out.....whether its the raya, or outings or the perception of me in the 'gang thingy'.... I have forgiven you all from A to Z
As for my doings that to your perspective i have neglected my duty or hurt u all whether i realise it or not (regardless i'm given the chance to clarify or not..)
PAKCIK SEEK EACH AND INDIVIDUAL OF YOUR FORGIVENESS
sedangkan computer ada reset button or can be reformat.. i dun see why we cant...
when i wake up, i onli want to remeber all 7 of us as misfits...
i dowan remember animore of all the hurts we had....
from day 1.. u all.. i mean you all... Hana, Lin, Aini, FArz, Dewi, Shafa have always been my fren...
neva i hate any of u.... or favour one of u more that the other..... reagardless of whateva happen....
i just wanna see the fun side of frenship...
forgive and forget...
~Muhaymin @ amean @ pakcik
*p/s the last my bday celebration... my wish was the misfits to be together as one again....
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
AiNi, yeah~ i sense something good is on the way.. me, AiNi is prepared to put everything behind and start anew.. to tell you the truth i was so prepared to hear that misfits is officially dead.. but today when i saw all your posting i think i rather put everything behind and start things anew...
what makes me too sure? i have groups during my sec/pri schools too and there was a point that we got into conflicts too.. the situation is somethng like this but even more complicated given our age.. and hey we manage to put things back on track and it lasted till today.. though everyone is busy but we do make effort to update each other.. so i guess we can do the same too..
lin... yea i'm sure someone else have told you, sometimes you are being selfish and self-centered wanting things to be your own way.. if it didnt happen your way you will not be happy about it.. well positively maybe it's determination??? haha.. =P like i said to you before i thought you dun really like me.. but after you reply the email.. i realise my assumptions were wrong and i began to react to you differently and this time trying to understand your character better.. you have a character of your own.. while trying to adapt to you.. this thing happen pulak.. but seriously i began to know the real you and began to like you.. especially making stupid things that i dont thing others will want to do.. and when i think about it.. it's just so funny.. you just rock with your blurrness.. and slengehness (esp with the eye lash thing) aku balik rumah pun masih ketawa siak.. haha.. you are such a ting tong... thinging about our camp.. omg it just make me laugh la.. must prepare for sleepless nights with you around boy..
misfits members are unique on its own..
p/s: wah this blog is so active huh.. hahaha.. making full use of it...
what makes me too sure? i have groups during my sec/pri schools too and there was a point that we got into conflicts too.. the situation is somethng like this but even more complicated given our age.. and hey we manage to put things back on track and it lasted till today.. though everyone is busy but we do make effort to update each other.. so i guess we can do the same too..
lin... yea i'm sure someone else have told you, sometimes you are being selfish and self-centered wanting things to be your own way.. if it didnt happen your way you will not be happy about it.. well positively maybe it's determination??? haha.. =P like i said to you before i thought you dun really like me.. but after you reply the email.. i realise my assumptions were wrong and i began to react to you differently and this time trying to understand your character better.. you have a character of your own.. while trying to adapt to you.. this thing happen pulak.. but seriously i began to know the real you and began to like you.. especially making stupid things that i dont thing others will want to do.. and when i think about it.. it's just so funny.. you just rock with your blurrness.. and slengehness (esp with the eye lash thing) aku balik rumah pun masih ketawa siak.. haha.. you are such a ting tong... thinging about our camp.. omg it just make me laugh la.. must prepare for sleepless nights with you around boy..
misfits members are unique on its own..
p/s: wah this blog is so active huh.. hahaha.. making full use of it...
Lynn
Whatever has happen, happen already. What is done cannot be undone. No doubt we had alot of fun as misfits. I may not express how much i miss misfits but deep down i do. But i am just too tired. I do not even bother doing anything to make it better because i know I am not capable of doing it.
Truth be told. I know my character best than anyone else. I know what kind of person i am. And yes Not everyone can tolerate me. And not everyone can understand me. It is never easy being who we are as an individual. I have never really blame anyone for not being able to get along with me and stuff because it all boils down to how much i wan to open up and who i wan to open up too. It goes the same for everyone.
All this time, i have never been a good friend to any of you. I hurt people's feelings consciously and unconsciously. I am temperamental. I always want things my way most of the time. I am stubborn. I am cold when i want to be. These are some of the many characteristic not everyone can accept in me but that is who i am. I did try changing but somehow my roots are stronger sometimes. But that does not mean i stop there. But it just wasnt enough.
And i know people hate me for my frankness at times. But sometimes i cant help it. I rather be frank than to hide and be insincere about it. I am a big advocator of sincerity. I will not do something with no sincerity and i totally hate pretence. There is alwayS a good and bad thing to it. It is just how people choose to see me. And I am not blaming any of you for hating me for being VERY FRANK To YOU TILL IT HURTS. I totally understand.
Sometimes i hate my guts for doing things and saying things at times without thinking.I guess my flaw is too undesirable.
It is always easier to say than doing it. It is the same for everyone. Damaged has already been done to each and everyone of us direct or indirectly. Purposely or accidentally.
And farz... though you did made an effort to make things better between us and trying to gain back what u think u lost from me, i choose to stay away from you. It was a decision on my part.It is because the damaged has been done and i am someone who doesnt trust easily in the first place. And so it is hard just gainin it back. I know i am cruel in that sense but i really cannot bring myself to do that. I push you to the point where there is no room to amek it better . And i am not saying there will be no room forever but i take a very long time to recover. Though i look strong outside, inside i am not. While i am still trying to recover, i would very much like to stay away from you to prevent any other misunderstanding occuring. That is why i will try my best to avoid you.
All of us made a mistake.
But you all should question yourselves after readin this..
How ready are you to get misfit back on track?
Will we ever be the same again?
Will there be openness after this in our friendship?
Will everyone be sincere with each other and not pretend anymore?
Will we be happy as one again.
I hope misfits are on the road to recovery.
Whatever has happen, happen already. What is done cannot be undone. No doubt we had alot of fun as misfits. I may not express how much i miss misfits but deep down i do. But i am just too tired. I do not even bother doing anything to make it better because i know I am not capable of doing it.
Truth be told. I know my character best than anyone else. I know what kind of person i am. And yes Not everyone can tolerate me. And not everyone can understand me. It is never easy being who we are as an individual. I have never really blame anyone for not being able to get along with me and stuff because it all boils down to how much i wan to open up and who i wan to open up too. It goes the same for everyone.
All this time, i have never been a good friend to any of you. I hurt people's feelings consciously and unconsciously. I am temperamental. I always want things my way most of the time. I am stubborn. I am cold when i want to be. These are some of the many characteristic not everyone can accept in me but that is who i am. I did try changing but somehow my roots are stronger sometimes. But that does not mean i stop there. But it just wasnt enough.
And i know people hate me for my frankness at times. But sometimes i cant help it. I rather be frank than to hide and be insincere about it. I am a big advocator of sincerity. I will not do something with no sincerity and i totally hate pretence. There is alwayS a good and bad thing to it. It is just how people choose to see me. And I am not blaming any of you for hating me for being VERY FRANK To YOU TILL IT HURTS. I totally understand.
Sometimes i hate my guts for doing things and saying things at times without thinking.I guess my flaw is too undesirable.
It is always easier to say than doing it. It is the same for everyone. Damaged has already been done to each and everyone of us direct or indirectly. Purposely or accidentally.
And farz... though you did made an effort to make things better between us and trying to gain back what u think u lost from me, i choose to stay away from you. It was a decision on my part.It is because the damaged has been done and i am someone who doesnt trust easily in the first place. And so it is hard just gainin it back. I know i am cruel in that sense but i really cannot bring myself to do that. I push you to the point where there is no room to amek it better . And i am not saying there will be no room forever but i take a very long time to recover. Though i look strong outside, inside i am not. While i am still trying to recover, i would very much like to stay away from you to prevent any other misunderstanding occuring. That is why i will try my best to avoid you.
All of us made a mistake.
But you all should question yourselves after readin this..
How ready are you to get misfit back on track?
Will we ever be the same again?
Will there be openness after this in our friendship?
Will everyone be sincere with each other and not pretend anymore?
Will we be happy as one again.
I hope misfits are on the road to recovery.
By Farz..
OH! TIS is “a confrontation”??! Confrontations r meant to settle face-to-face. N NOT thru BLOGGINGs.. I seriously tink we shd meet up n settle evrytings. HAvin “confrontations” thru bloggin is soo ‘indirect’.. Seriously. Its thru media.. I rather haf a face-to-face n heart-to-heart talk abt us..
I dun wanna end up fiting here. I had patience.. n I had my temper too..
TO Lin, bak kata pepatah pakcik “yg da sudah tu sudah” n lyk shafa saes, she forget abt e past... SO we shd. I tried my very bez not to tink abt e past. But sum how, we live toooo much in e past. I try to b nice again to u. TRYIN to GAIN bck wat I haf lost.. UR trust. BUT u juz keep a distant away frm me.. n der’s NO room for me to make tings better.
Seriously, I dun wanna write stuff here n giving direct attacks. Cos I tink it is bez if we had a ‘talking’ sessions.. N no I dun wanna beat ard e bush. Cos I dunnoe hu tol min tt.. n tt person hu left coz shes angry is farhana.
TO Shafa, NO I dun hate u. Nvr were.. I knw I had olways bullied u since yr1.. I knw. I bullied u to e max.. rabakz.. hah! I still rmbr. Truly sorri for bullying u. N I dun blame u for writing in ur ‘diary’ abt me *muz b coz of me bullyin u too much ryt?*.. hehe.. coz I write abt u too.. bleah.. *in my personal diary la..*
I miss u shafa.. seriously. N gues wat! I tot u hate me too.. period. N I find it funny.. u tot I hate u n I tot u hate me.. GOSH!
OMG!.. I really tink we shd settle tis face-to-face, one for all.. coz tis whole tingy is soo childish. Writing in blogs, direct attacks.. Bler mau settle mcm gini..
Afta havin read all our opinions, lets look on e brite side.. der is STILL room for our frenship to start a fresh.. All tis is juz a misunderstandings.. I dun blame u guys for hating me.. Mayb i was too direct n sarcastic to evry1. Im sorri. Im sorri. Lets forgive n forget.. Once n for all..
I love u Misfits.. "I love u tooo much to let go".. N i hope to c us as one. InsyaAllah.. AMin.
OH! TIS is “a confrontation”??! Confrontations r meant to settle face-to-face. N NOT thru BLOGGINGs.. I seriously tink we shd meet up n settle evrytings. HAvin “confrontations” thru bloggin is soo ‘indirect’.. Seriously. Its thru media.. I rather haf a face-to-face n heart-to-heart talk abt us..
I dun wanna end up fiting here. I had patience.. n I had my temper too..
TO Lin, bak kata pepatah pakcik “yg da sudah tu sudah” n lyk shafa saes, she forget abt e past... SO we shd. I tried my very bez not to tink abt e past. But sum how, we live toooo much in e past. I try to b nice again to u. TRYIN to GAIN bck wat I haf lost.. UR trust. BUT u juz keep a distant away frm me.. n der’s NO room for me to make tings better.
Seriously, I dun wanna write stuff here n giving direct attacks. Cos I tink it is bez if we had a ‘talking’ sessions.. N no I dun wanna beat ard e bush. Cos I dunnoe hu tol min tt.. n tt person hu left coz shes angry is farhana.
TO Shafa, NO I dun hate u. Nvr were.. I knw I had olways bullied u since yr1.. I knw. I bullied u to e max.. rabakz.. hah! I still rmbr. Truly sorri for bullying u. N I dun blame u for writing in ur ‘diary’ abt me *muz b coz of me bullyin u too much ryt?*.. hehe.. coz I write abt u too.. bleah.. *in my personal diary la..*
I miss u shafa.. seriously. N gues wat! I tot u hate me too.. period. N I find it funny.. u tot I hate u n I tot u hate me.. GOSH!
OMG!.. I really tink we shd settle tis face-to-face, one for all.. coz tis whole tingy is soo childish. Writing in blogs, direct attacks.. Bler mau settle mcm gini..
Afta havin read all our opinions, lets look on e brite side.. der is STILL room for our frenship to start a fresh.. All tis is juz a misunderstandings.. I dun blame u guys for hating me.. Mayb i was too direct n sarcastic to evry1. Im sorri. Im sorri. Lets forgive n forget.. Once n for all..
I love u Misfits.. "I love u tooo much to let go".. N i hope to c us as one. InsyaAllah.. AMin.
hmmmm.... i was getting ready to get angry.. but i didnt expect to smile.. it's not a sinister smile though... but in fact a smile of relief.. i'm glad that we clear our doubts to whatever issues that have been stucked in us..
to tell you the truth even for dewi, farz... i myself is emo.. i think my family know that so well.. i cry so easily even so stupid stuffs.. the reason why i appear to be so happy is that i dun wanna get angry cause if i get anry, tears is just gonna flow..
The TP... i actually wanna tell i scared.. not because i wanna keep it from you.. it's because because of the frictions that is happening if i suddenly msg you all and say i passed TP.. nanti macam funny right.. i have no intention to keep it for other reasons.. i also deleted the pics in fotopages cause macam funny right.. but since you all know ready.. i;m really sorry for keeping it from you guys.. but to tell you the truth even my family dunno i went for my TP test that morning.. you all know how long i took this driving thingy rite.. i feel pressured if people ask me about it.. so i rather keep quite.. and the other 4 i was trying very hard to keep it from them and not making them to remember but they got good memory.
SHAFA.... please dun think that way.. i never thought the way you think.. i never think i am pretty or anything and i got my own flaws too.. and everybody is pretty in their own way... and i love the cold storage too... cold strorage reminds me of you(cause most of the time kau jugak yang kene heret gie cold storage ngan aku)... and dun care bout the Bob thing... never be affected by it.. i was shocked to know about it when i reached school that morning finding out about those rude comments... because i'm not so good in blogging and fotopages.. i can;t help you to know who the person is... yes i do have alot of frens but that does not mean i hang out alot with them... everyone is busy with their lives.. they all are already working.. and i'm the only few who are left still schooling... and yea i felt sad sey never invite the steamboat.. i love the steamboat ok.. but wat's done cannot be undone unless you wanna do again la.. =P dewi is loud when she argue with her bf.. champion sey.. not because of anything else..
Lin... tounge twisting exist in everyone... dun tell me you never did that before.. you did but never realise.. people who listen will realise.. but it's a norm... you said: We did nothing in makin things better do definitely but we didnt make an effort to make it worse... in life, we only realise other's mistake but not our own... only when others tegur we realise it... you feel that you did nothing in other to make it worse, are you sure...? people realised others mistakes but not their very own mistakes... everyone thinks that they do no harm but they did, unconcously...
well i'm glad that at least we led it all out.. and not just keep it forever... i'm all set to keep all these unhappiness aside... and start anew... but we are a group, so even if i'm the only one want it to happen no use.. i'm looking forward to hear from all of you... just like shafa i treasure all of you...
to tell you the truth even for dewi, farz... i myself is emo.. i think my family know that so well.. i cry so easily even so stupid stuffs.. the reason why i appear to be so happy is that i dun wanna get angry cause if i get anry, tears is just gonna flow..
The TP... i actually wanna tell i scared.. not because i wanna keep it from you.. it's because because of the frictions that is happening if i suddenly msg you all and say i passed TP.. nanti macam funny right.. i have no intention to keep it for other reasons.. i also deleted the pics in fotopages cause macam funny right.. but since you all know ready.. i;m really sorry for keeping it from you guys.. but to tell you the truth even my family dunno i went for my TP test that morning.. you all know how long i took this driving thingy rite.. i feel pressured if people ask me about it.. so i rather keep quite.. and the other 4 i was trying very hard to keep it from them and not making them to remember but they got good memory.
SHAFA.... please dun think that way.. i never thought the way you think.. i never think i am pretty or anything and i got my own flaws too.. and everybody is pretty in their own way... and i love the cold storage too... cold strorage reminds me of you(cause most of the time kau jugak yang kene heret gie cold storage ngan aku)... and dun care bout the Bob thing... never be affected by it.. i was shocked to know about it when i reached school that morning finding out about those rude comments... because i'm not so good in blogging and fotopages.. i can;t help you to know who the person is... yes i do have alot of frens but that does not mean i hang out alot with them... everyone is busy with their lives.. they all are already working.. and i'm the only few who are left still schooling... and yea i felt sad sey never invite the steamboat.. i love the steamboat ok.. but wat's done cannot be undone unless you wanna do again la.. =P dewi is loud when she argue with her bf.. champion sey.. not because of anything else..
Lin... tounge twisting exist in everyone... dun tell me you never did that before.. you did but never realise.. people who listen will realise.. but it's a norm... you said: We did nothing in makin things better do definitely but we didnt make an effort to make it worse... in life, we only realise other's mistake but not our own... only when others tegur we realise it... you feel that you did nothing in other to make it worse, are you sure...? people realised others mistakes but not their very own mistakes... everyone thinks that they do no harm but they did, unconcously...
well i'm glad that at least we led it all out.. and not just keep it forever... i'm all set to keep all these unhappiness aside... and start anew... but we are a group, so even if i'm the only one want it to happen no use.. i'm looking forward to hear from all of you... just like shafa i treasure all of you...
Shafa Here.
Misfits problem.
If what Im going to say is going to hurt or make you angry, Im sorry. But its just my personal point of view. I will say this before anyone starts questioning and thinking what of me. Me, Hana and Lin had our own steamboat at my house a few days back. Im I didn't invite the rest because all of you are aware of the problem we are having. I actually thought of it but I stopped. Then when I heard Aini passed her TP from Min, I was shocked and somehow glad I didn't invite you all over. Come to think of it, why didn't you tell us? Min had to tell us. That felt weird. It felt that we weren't important enough to know you passed your driving.
Hmm okay. This is my very own personal view about what is happening with us. Now, about the pictures. Well, Im sorry if you thought my captions were rude to you all but I didn't really mean no harm. Its just captions. There's so much to write and I didn't want to type so long. If you think this is just an excuse to cover up then I'm sorry but it isn't. About the witches and the emo thing. What I feel about this is that, to name yourselves [Aini,Farz,Dewi] as a group hurts me. Why must you all call yourselves the witches? I didn't like it. Then you all started to emphasize more on it everytime. I felt like an outcast somehow. But you all [Aini,Farz,Dewi] keep on emphasizing on 'witches'. It seemed that you all liked it. So I can't call you all witches. Then don't have the name witches at all. It just grouped the 3 of you together even more. Understand?
Misfits problem.
If what Im going to say is going to hurt or make you angry, Im sorry. But its just my personal point of view. I will say this before anyone starts questioning and thinking what of me. Me, Hana and Lin had our own steamboat at my house a few days back. Im I didn't invite the rest because all of you are aware of the problem we are having. I actually thought of it but I stopped. Then when I heard Aini passed her TP from Min, I was shocked and somehow glad I didn't invite you all over. Come to think of it, why didn't you tell us? Min had to tell us. That felt weird. It felt that we weren't important enough to know you passed your driving.
Hmm okay. This is my very own personal view about what is happening with us. Now, about the pictures. Well, Im sorry if you thought my captions were rude to you all but I didn't really mean no harm. Its just captions. There's so much to write and I didn't want to type so long. If you think this is just an excuse to cover up then I'm sorry but it isn't. About the witches and the emo thing. What I feel about this is that, to name yourselves [Aini,Farz,Dewi] as a group hurts me. Why must you all call yourselves the witches? I didn't like it. Then you all started to emphasize more on it everytime. I felt like an outcast somehow. But you all [Aini,Farz,Dewi] keep on emphasizing on 'witches'. It seemed that you all liked it. So I can't call you all witches. Then don't have the name witches at all. It just grouped the 3 of you together even more. Understand?
During study week, Ok. So I was WRONG in not coming over to you guys. But did you all invited me? I guess what all of you would say is, why I need to be invited when I know I can come if I want and whenever I want to. Right? Well, I felt at that point of time all of us were kinda separated already and I just felt I needed to avoid all these that may just make me angry and question your motives.
Yes, I didn't liked being called emo. However, I didn't come up with that labeling and in fact I don't call myself, Lin & Hana the emos. For the fact that we didn't like it. Like what Farz said, some prefer to show their happy side and not talk about their problems. I guess for me, I can't cover that up very well and therefore it shows everytime when I have a problem and there's school. For me, I don't really tell my problems as a group. I'd rather have a one on one talk with any of you.Seriously. If you ask me, there's no one better to talk to then any of you 6 ppl but I guess, individually none of you besides Hana & Lin actually asked me individually and separately whats wrong.
To tell you all the truth, I never had any close friends like this before. You all accepted me for who I am. In my other schools I've never really had true friends, close friends like all of you. They all treated me like dirt. Like I wasn't even supposed to be born on this earth. Maybe I get abit too personal sometimes and it irks you out but thats just how I am. To tell, you all what I feel, think every night is that I hope all of us would stay together till we all are married, successful and have kids like what we all loved to talk about then. I wished and hope that none of you will ever face the kind of problems I have and that I am so very grateful having you guys as friends. People I love the most I can tell you is not much. I love my dad, my brother and all of you. You all are my precious. Did you know that? I guess I never mentioned it but now that its out, its just for all of you to know.
I wouldn't say I didn't play a part in making this whole thing bad. I know I did somehow but I guess I can't still figure it out yet. For that, Im sorry. Then, I guess you all would have to tell me what I did. TELL ME.
About the ramen ten, I actually asked you guys outside the lecturers' office when Hana, Lin and Min went to see the lecturer. Hana & Lin didn't know I invited you guys until I actually told them. But its over. So I guess I can't talk much about it. About the rollerblading thing. I've no idea you all went after we went. And it still confuses me why. But then again, its over. Ok. So I don't want to linger and talk about the past events that had happened. Im not avoiding it. Its just that its over, so why must we keep talking about it? We have to talk about what OUR future is going to be like.
To Aini,
I feel that you just go with the flow right? If people ask you out, you follow and if they don't you just keep quiet about it. I feel that you don't side with anyone but yet you appear to. So that was a misunderstanding. I remember our mini outings to causeway point, go cold storage and stuff. It was fun. It was. What I see is that you have alot of friends. You are the popular one. I'm not jealous but Im happy to have a friend as popular as you. Back In secondary school, popular people hated me. Never wanted me to be around. But I guess certain people [Like 'Bob'] Feel that Im being friends with you just to be as popular and as pretty. Thats not true. I want to be friends with you cause I like you and know that you are fun to be around with. It hurts me alot when people think that way. Ok. So Im ugly, I got a big nose and I don't know how to style myself. Im aware of that Mr Bob. You don't need to keep emphasizing it everywhere. Blog, even my fotopage? How did you even know I had fotopage? Oh well. I also remembered that you were the very FIRST misfit I got to know. And damn you do talk alot and you are very friendly! That's good cause I was the shy one. =)
To Dewi,
Honestly, on the day you went clubbing with us, I was totally shocked. I didn't believed Lin when she said you were going until I saw you that night. Well, I guess its up to everyone what they want to do. You can't force anyone to do anything about you but yourself. Maybe Im not so close to you among all of us Misfits, but what you appear to be, is that you don't really share as much [well, atleast thats what I feel] to me about whats happening around you. Ok, so its your personal life and you don't wish to share it but when Aini said you were'nt as quiet as you looked, I was so curious in wanting to know more about you but maybe I didn't make a move to do so. My mistake. Sorry.
To Farz,
Hmm. Where do I even start. We have some things in common. We are of the same age, we are in the same hospital, we have attachments together even our addresses are almost the same that I can even remember yours without having to think. But why? Why do you treat me as such. I thought we could be the best of friends. I trusted you so much. Then, I found out you already had a best friend. But it was okay. So long we were still close I was very happy. We had our outings, our fun, our crap but suddenly everything when down the drain. Slowly I found out you lied, you didn't tell me what you felt and you just blogged indirectly to scold me. I was so hurt. I know you have alot of friends, I can see that. I said this before, I've had only one best friend before and she left. To think that you were going to be my next best friend and you left me like that hurts me to my guts. Im not asking for anything back. Whatever I gave, whatever we spent on. Sometimes I just think you weren't grateful or its just that Im not doing enough to be your best friend. The point where everything crushed was when you showed my your driving results. You expected me not to be angry and sad with you? How could I? You could still lie about you having to wait for your friend to enrol with you and you keep asking me this and that. Why did you lie to me? If you weren't going to tell. Then don't ask me such questions. It just hurts me alot. Haiz.
To Farhana,
You know I treat you like a big sister. I've always did. Its not the matter of me and hana being called 'adek beradek' that I treat her like one. Its because she seems like someone I can look up to. Like what Lin said, your temper scares me. It really does. When you are angry, its hard for me to communicate with you. I know that I would have to leave you alone till you mellowed down. Overall, I have high respect for you and I trust you. Our outings together like going to Amore made us closer and I loved that. I appreciate it alot too. The fun we had when you were around was the best cause you always can crack each and everyone of us up.
To Lin,
At first, I couldn't take your straight-forwardness. I didn't like it. I tried not to get so close to you. It does hurt me sometimes only that I don't say. But then, I learned. Being straightforward isn't at all bad. Atleast I know what I did wrong, what I say wrong and try to amend it. Then, I realised, I could share my problems with you cause we both have certain problems in common and thus I feel comfortable around you from then on. Sometimes, I guess I take to much of your personal time and even times when you were going out with Zac I followed, being the light bulb. For that Im sorry. I didn't mean to intrude in to your personal life. Im sorry if I irritated you.
To Muhaymin,
Min, is another person that I really respect. What I have to say is that sometimes you tend to really make me irritated when you talk all so 'pak cik like'. I don't want you to sound like my father but instead like my big brother. That is why most times I just don't bother to tell you when I know what kind of respond I would get from you. For you too, I know you're neutral on all this and that you don't really know what is happening and all, that you were asked by all of us[misfits girls] to pass messages to each other cause we weren't in good terms. For that, I want to say sorry if we troubled you alot.
Me spending alot of time with Hana & Lin. Why? Cause the 3 of you spend alot of times together, therefore I spent time more with them. Not that I HAD TO. but I WANTED TO. I feel very comfortable with them around and all. But did 3 of you [Aini, Farz & Dewi] ever thought they hey, 3 of you have almost the same backgrounds and us 3 have the same? Think about it ya. That is why I never really felt you could understand me totally. To say, I didn't share, thats not true. I tried but its just hard cause you all don't seem to really understand. If you say I bitch about it in my blog, then well, you haven't seen what I write in my diary. All in all, Farz, you hurt me the most. I want to hate you but you are my friend. And so I try so hate not to. But do you hate me? Honestly. I WANT TO KNOW. Tell me Farz.
So I guess I have let it out. My own personal view about this and I hope it doesn't makes things worse only better cause now that all of you know what I feel about our situation and what I think about each of you. Like what some of you said, lets not make things worse and make gd things happen. Lets have lunch together or outing together one of these days!! We all need to meet up and do crazy things together again. I missed that A WHOLE LOT! =)
So I guess I have let it out. My own personal view about this and I hope it doesn't makes things worse only better cause now that all of you know what I feel about our situation and what I think about each of you. Like what some of you said, lets not make things worse and make gd things happen. Lets have lunch together or outing together one of these days!! We all need to meet up and do crazy things together again. I missed that A WHOLE LOT! =)
Lynn
Childish as it seems. But Apparently everyone seems to be enjoying ourselves engaging in such childish act in one way or another right consciously or unconsciously.
all Was part of everyone's assumptions. BUt somehow the assumptions seem so real it begins to hurt everyone.
And farz Who was the one who "maybe" was so angry that left? Common since this is sort of a "confrontations".. Why beat around the bush. Just list the name. No point playing the assumptions game anymore.
And yup.. WE [ Lynn & Farz ] Had a very big misunderstanding. And Whose fault was it? BOTH. I have never push the ENTIRE blame to you because i know i play a role in it too.
And i still dun trust you. It hurts You and "It really feels lyk a DEEP STAB in [your] heart tt it juz wont heal"? Think again farz. Why did i react in such a way and why did i even feel that way in the first place. It is all because of your OWN ACTIONS. You cause such thing to happen and you blame me for not trusting you. All the "whispering". All the "nothing nothing" when obviously there is something. I am not asking you to share it with me if you dun wan but show some respect for me and the people around you. If you do not want to share do it far away from a distant. That is just plain rude. And it do hurts okay! And so DAMAGE ARE ALREADY DONE. Your ACTIONS spark a NEGATIVE reaction in me.
Yes. I am definitely wrong in making all those ridiculous assumptions. And i am sorry that it hurts you. Looking back if i could turn back time, i would definitely not make all the asumptions. But the damage is done just like how u created the damage for me not trusting you. So i have to bear that conscience in me everyday.
I deleted all our pics [ you & me] because i feel that you are no longer the person i thought i knew. You were secretive. And i feel like i am not being treated as your friend. Friends dun act secretively infront of each other farz.
There is always a cause and effect for everything to happen. And this is what has been happening.
I cause something to create an effect on you.
You cause something to create an effect on me.
Get the drift.
And farz.. it is not "Mayb I make e wrong mistake by making a joke abt ur probs." It IS A MISTAKE.
Well for me.. why i didnt pour out my problems to you all was because you all created this impression that you were not interested. You were out to make jokes.
Ask yourself, have you all ever really sit down and have a heart to heart talk with either any of us. Definitely not to me.
You had your own preference to show your happy sides and not burden us. I had my own preference. I would very much like a friend to sit down with me, and lend a listening ear and be serious for that moment. That is why whenever you all ask if i am ok, i would say "yeah i am ok" because I assume you all would never understand. Because of the impressions you have created and also you all like to say [especially farz & aini ] " ape ni emo emo.. tgk kiter.. happy jer tak de problem" Think about it la. How does that makes me feel?
It makes me feel inferior to you all because you all are the no-problem-happy-go-lucky-girls and i am not. So do you think i would even bother pourin it out to you.
And yes. I think we all [ misfits ] didnt understand each other enough and we all didnt accomodate to each other patterns well enough.
And farz.. shafa didnt ask you all on the platform. She ask you all after the last lesson going down the lift. I REMEMBER that very clearly. But if you remember farz.. what were you all doing in the clinical.. You were busy secretively talking on the phone infront of us with aini to some "friend" you claim. So it already made me and shafa unhappy that you HAD to do that. Do you think we will straightaway ask you all? NO. And moreover it wasnt a confirm plan so we waited for the right time. Maybe the right time came too late.
And the whispering thing. Hmm.. since you all started it, well we might as well continue it. Childish act on our part. But who cares right. When you all can do it why not us. This is call tasting your own medicine. We would definitely not do that if you dun do that to us. We just want you to understand how it feels to be us when you all were whispering once upon a time.
And farz stop beating around the bush. That someone is Me. I was the one who told Min you all didnt tell us. And i can swear or sumpah [whatever you prefer] I TOTALLY DIDNT KNOW ABOUT IT OKAY! I only know it was on 14 of feb the actual day and i couldnt make it of course because i had a date my my bf. But you all didnt tell me it was changed to 13 instead. If i know it was on the 13.. i WOULD definitely go okay. And you said it was last min? But aini wrote it was a planned one "...so we said 13/02 but all still got something on.. so the 3 of us go ahead with the plan eating at pizza hut..." -quoted from aini entry. So which is which ni? I didnt know tongue twisting existed in witches. I thought dewi hate that? hmm...
Actually it didnt matter if we didnt know about the cookies. Since it was SO NICE OF YOU TO GIVE THEM AFTER SHAFA & HANA LEFT. But how did we end up knowing? If your intentions was so nice as to not want to let us know, then why even posting it and specify the special people you made for in your fotopage. IF you had the intention to make for us and if the reason you didnt made for us was because of the "not enough" bahan, then shouldnt you also add it in, in your fotopage remark too.. Something like... 'not enough bahan and stuff for us' But NO you didnt. So yeah. We question your intentions.
Actually right i didnt often got to your fotopages. Do you think i even had the time to even view one by one and view your past entry? why should i even bother. It has nothing to do with me and there is no picture of me to view. So why even bother. I would definitely not act on such childish stuff. The time i go to your fotopages was to only take and view my pictures. And how we found out? Well.. we found out only yest. Yes. YESTERDAY 23 MARCH 2007.
And aini, We did nothing in makin things better do definitely but we didnt make an effort to make it worse. I thought everything died down and we can move on with our own lives. BUt NO. DEWI had to start writing that self fulflling prophecy. and She had to do that and stir up our emotions right.
And if it is about competition and how many outings we all had.. then you all reflect on yourself. If we had that intentions, there would be so many outings between me, hana & shafa. But NO we didnt. Go and count yourself and go do some research if you all bother. You all had the most outings than us. So why push it to us?
Childish as it seems. But Apparently everyone seems to be enjoying ourselves engaging in such childish act in one way or another right consciously or unconsciously.
all Was part of everyone's assumptions. BUt somehow the assumptions seem so real it begins to hurt everyone.
And farz Who was the one who "maybe" was so angry that left? Common since this is sort of a "confrontations".. Why beat around the bush. Just list the name. No point playing the assumptions game anymore.
And yup.. WE [ Lynn & Farz ] Had a very big misunderstanding. And Whose fault was it? BOTH. I have never push the ENTIRE blame to you because i know i play a role in it too.
And i still dun trust you. It hurts You and "It really feels lyk a DEEP STAB in [your] heart tt it juz wont heal"? Think again farz. Why did i react in such a way and why did i even feel that way in the first place. It is all because of your OWN ACTIONS. You cause such thing to happen and you blame me for not trusting you. All the "whispering". All the "nothing nothing" when obviously there is something. I am not asking you to share it with me if you dun wan but show some respect for me and the people around you. If you do not want to share do it far away from a distant. That is just plain rude. And it do hurts okay! And so DAMAGE ARE ALREADY DONE. Your ACTIONS spark a NEGATIVE reaction in me.
Yes. I am definitely wrong in making all those ridiculous assumptions. And i am sorry that it hurts you. Looking back if i could turn back time, i would definitely not make all the asumptions. But the damage is done just like how u created the damage for me not trusting you. So i have to bear that conscience in me everyday.
I deleted all our pics [ you & me] because i feel that you are no longer the person i thought i knew. You were secretive. And i feel like i am not being treated as your friend. Friends dun act secretively infront of each other farz.
There is always a cause and effect for everything to happen. And this is what has been happening.
I cause something to create an effect on you.
You cause something to create an effect on me.
Get the drift.
And farz.. it is not "Mayb I make e wrong mistake by making a joke abt ur probs." It IS A MISTAKE.
Well for me.. why i didnt pour out my problems to you all was because you all created this impression that you were not interested. You were out to make jokes.
Ask yourself, have you all ever really sit down and have a heart to heart talk with either any of us. Definitely not to me.
You had your own preference to show your happy sides and not burden us. I had my own preference. I would very much like a friend to sit down with me, and lend a listening ear and be serious for that moment. That is why whenever you all ask if i am ok, i would say "yeah i am ok" because I assume you all would never understand. Because of the impressions you have created and also you all like to say [especially farz & aini ] " ape ni emo emo.. tgk kiter.. happy jer tak de problem" Think about it la. How does that makes me feel?
It makes me feel inferior to you all because you all are the no-problem-happy-go-lucky-girls and i am not. So do you think i would even bother pourin it out to you.
And yes. I think we all [ misfits ] didnt understand each other enough and we all didnt accomodate to each other patterns well enough.
And farz.. shafa didnt ask you all on the platform. She ask you all after the last lesson going down the lift. I REMEMBER that very clearly. But if you remember farz.. what were you all doing in the clinical.. You were busy secretively talking on the phone infront of us with aini to some "friend" you claim. So it already made me and shafa unhappy that you HAD to do that. Do you think we will straightaway ask you all? NO. And moreover it wasnt a confirm plan so we waited for the right time. Maybe the right time came too late.
And the whispering thing. Hmm.. since you all started it, well we might as well continue it. Childish act on our part. But who cares right. When you all can do it why not us. This is call tasting your own medicine. We would definitely not do that if you dun do that to us. We just want you to understand how it feels to be us when you all were whispering once upon a time.
And farz stop beating around the bush. That someone is Me. I was the one who told Min you all didnt tell us. And i can swear or sumpah [whatever you prefer] I TOTALLY DIDNT KNOW ABOUT IT OKAY! I only know it was on 14 of feb the actual day and i couldnt make it of course because i had a date my my bf. But you all didnt tell me it was changed to 13 instead. If i know it was on the 13.. i WOULD definitely go okay. And you said it was last min? But aini wrote it was a planned one "...so we said 13/02 but all still got something on.. so the 3 of us go ahead with the plan eating at pizza hut..." -quoted from aini entry. So which is which ni? I didnt know tongue twisting existed in witches. I thought dewi hate that? hmm...
Actually it didnt matter if we didnt know about the cookies. Since it was SO NICE OF YOU TO GIVE THEM AFTER SHAFA & HANA LEFT. But how did we end up knowing? If your intentions was so nice as to not want to let us know, then why even posting it and specify the special people you made for in your fotopage. IF you had the intention to make for us and if the reason you didnt made for us was because of the "not enough" bahan, then shouldnt you also add it in, in your fotopage remark too.. Something like... 'not enough bahan and stuff for us' But NO you didnt. So yeah. We question your intentions.
Actually right i didnt often got to your fotopages. Do you think i even had the time to even view one by one and view your past entry? why should i even bother. It has nothing to do with me and there is no picture of me to view. So why even bother. I would definitely not act on such childish stuff. The time i go to your fotopages was to only take and view my pictures. And how we found out? Well.. we found out only yest. Yes. YESTERDAY 23 MARCH 2007.
And aini, We did nothing in makin things better do definitely but we didnt make an effort to make it worse. I thought everything died down and we can move on with our own lives. BUt NO. DEWI had to start writing that self fulflling prophecy. and She had to do that and stir up our emotions right.
And if it is about competition and how many outings we all had.. then you all reflect on yourself. If we had that intentions, there would be so many outings between me, hana & shafa. But NO we didnt. Go and count yourself and go do some research if you all bother. You all had the most outings than us. So why push it to us?
AiNi...
the geylang outing i was referring to us la aini, dewi and farz.. not you all.. and the rollerblading you went first.. we went only a week after you..
so it's just too obvious that we got ALOT of misunderstandings al this while.. not wanting to clear it.. it piled up till like this.. you ask so what we do in order to make things better.. i wanna ask you.. so what DID you guys do... isn't it the same.. you all just say but do nothing..
everybody is to blame in this matter... muhaymin is just neural.. and seriously he is not in out side.. about the gang thing... well you know there's this thing called investigations...
you think we childish, we think you all childish... you think we destroying, we thought we destroy.. i don't think it will settle if we keep passing the blame to each other...
anyway the ramen thing... i did really go home and didnt join farz for bugis... so now that you all have said what you wanna say.. at least i know...
shafa - i'm not referring to your blog.. watever you wanna blog is your problem.. i'm referring to your fotopages.. me and them eileen and them... you want people to say me and her or me and them.. and the WITCHES is not for you to call la.. it's only among us.. just like the EMO thing. you dun like right..
the geylang outing i was referring to us la aini, dewi and farz.. not you all.. and the rollerblading you went first.. we went only a week after you..
so it's just too obvious that we got ALOT of misunderstandings al this while.. not wanting to clear it.. it piled up till like this.. you ask so what we do in order to make things better.. i wanna ask you.. so what DID you guys do... isn't it the same.. you all just say but do nothing..
everybody is to blame in this matter... muhaymin is just neural.. and seriously he is not in out side.. about the gang thing... well you know there's this thing called investigations...
you think we childish, we think you all childish... you think we destroying, we thought we destroy.. i don't think it will settle if we keep passing the blame to each other...
anyway the ramen thing... i did really go home and didnt join farz for bugis... so now that you all have said what you wanna say.. at least i know...
shafa - i'm not referring to your blog.. watever you wanna blog is your problem.. i'm referring to your fotopages.. me and them eileen and them... you want people to say me and her or me and them.. and the WITCHES is not for you to call la.. it's only among us.. just like the EMO thing. you dun like right..
Ok MY TURN! (Farz)
Hmm seriously i dunnoe whr n wat to start. But bear in mind tt i haf few vocabs n limited words to describe ks. N sorry for my grammar mistakes.
AnihOo.. I really find tis ting a childish kinda ting.. Seriously.. But as a grp, evry1 plays a part. N tis recent misunderstanding is all abt ASSUMPTIONs n our childish act..
So let me clarify was I assume n wats in my tots. *bear in mind again its all abt assumptions*
It started a year ago.. yeap. N I cud remember HOW I plead muhaymin LAST YEAR b4 aini n my bdae cums to ensure tt we r bck together as one. YEAP I pleaded. N muhaymin DID make us back as a grp but someone *mayb* was so angry wif us tt she left. N tt make us soo BINGIT. Yeaps it did. We try to clarify tings up but HOW wen pple juz dun wanna listen..
N it got worst afta my bdae.. I had some VERY misunderstanding wif Lin.. n yeaps cud still rmbr how u saed u didn’t trust me. It really feels lyk a DEEP STAB in my heart tt it juz wont heal. I knw I hid tings frm u. But u MAKE some assumptions tt is soo ridiculous. N den wat makes me feel more hurtful is tt u deleted ALL our pics (me n u) away at ur frenster.. NOT a single one left. N it hurt me soo soo much tt I actually deleted our pics at my frenster too.. Ok i knw im childish.
And tts whr e most OBVIOUS cliques started to come out.
So wats tt suppose to mean? That Im e culprit for wat had happen to us??! N yeaps I do had e guilty feelings. But den again, everyone’s play a part. Not apart.
Ok lets rewind abit n talk abt tis emo emo stuff since u guys talk abt it. the ting is tt, its NOT n nvr wrong to b emotionals. But it affect us soo much. Wen u guys came dwn to sch wif a black face, we try to ask r u ok.. but u olways sae ur ok. Wen we knw ur nt ok at all. So its lyk ur hiding tings frm us n dun wanan share it. Subsequently wen u came in with e black face again, we learn not to ask since u dun wanna share tings wif us.. n den u tot we dun understand u at all wen u dun even tell us wats wrong. So wat r we suppose to do? Make ASSUMPTIONS abt ur probs?..
The fact tt I prefer to show the happy side of me is tt I dun wan me to b a burden to my frens. Not tt Im sayin u guys (those emotional ones) r a burden to me.. But I rather see pple happy den sad.. Mayb I make e wrong mistake by making a joke abt ur probs.. but yeah it was an intention to make u smile. But mayb it turn out jus SOOOOO wrong.
Ok lets continue again.. abt e hari raya break fast.. e one u guys break fast at ramen, ok so tt was a last min plan kan.. but u guys plan without us.. n u guys tell us to e very babz last mins at e PLATFORM wen we actually overheard ur plans during the clinicals.. *tts late enuf to tell.. coz if it’s a last min, u guys wont b talking abt it durng e lab* n OH.. u guys cud juz sae during the clinicals if we wanna break fast wif u guys even if u guys dun knw whr to dine in.
For u’r information Lin, Shafa n Hana.. YOU guys did e rollerblading first. N we got soo pissed off tt we’r NOT invited on tt very dae, tt we make our own rollerblading n lie abt e dates since dewi’s camera can change e date. We actually go rollerblading 1wk AFTER ur event. *tis is e truth* N coz we ASSUME tt u guys dun wanna had outings wif us again n tt we’r totally not invited, we make our childish move to make more outings..
MORE n more n u guys make MORE n MORE tt it bcoms sooo WORST tt it adds on to e mess we created.. a misunderstandings n assumptions.
N abt e raya outing.. u guys actually make e plan to go hari raya outing afta exams, b4 min go aust. Its u guys make e plans 1st.. but it end up we 3. N it feels lyk as if misfit has totally broken up.. n it feels lyk a witchez raya outing instead. We r more lyk frustrated cos we cudnt celebrate tis special occasions as one. Sad, truly sad abt it. But I knw u guys gt some reasons. But den if lin were sick, shdnt she b resting at hm?.. Ok so we make a +ve assumptions tt mayb shafa’s hse is nearer so she can go.. n we tried soooo hard to reach shafa’s hse ASAP but e buses r juz nt on our side.. n we had to wait for haf an hr or more. N wen we reach, we found out tt Lin had gone hme.. We truly tried our bes to see lin.. but yeah she need a rest.
Then afta some times, cliques n cliques bcome soo close n we didn’t tok much to e other cliques. N u guys olwas whisper2 to each other wen Lin had oreadi saed its RUDE to whisper in a grp.. So look who’s whispering now. We stop our whispering but u guys did e whispering tt we make our whispering exist again. Ok n u guys hid so many tings infrnt of us.. infrnt of us.. not bhind.
Ok nx is abt e valentines dae.. it was a super last min.. but e fact is someone tol min tt we didn’t tel u abt it. We did. We did!! *same case as ur rollerblading excuses.. last min kinda ting* Fair enuf?
Ok den abt e cookies.. for ur info, I search e wholeeeeee tampines area to find extra bahan2 to make for u guys as well.. Im searching for e instant nye so tt its easier. But damn tampines area dun haf bahan.. n e bahan my mum make is nt enuf for e 7 of us. But i haf oreadi e niat to make for my gf n sis cos i didn’t give dem any bdae present during their chalet.. So dun ASSUME I didn’t wanna bake for u. It juz soo happen not enuf bahan. Infact, I plan to bake brownie n cookies for our class too. But e stupid tampines dun sell dos instant stuff. If u find tis juz a typical excuses, den if ok… but im truly sorri if u find its rude. BUT atleast I dun giv e cookies infrnt of u guys.. tts more rude kan wen u dun get e cookies..
Abt this expressing ur feelings kinda things, doesn’t mean BLOGGING is the place to express ur feelings. It’s a freeflow of werds. I choose my bloggin to b my beautiful inspiration.. but den pple keep buggin me to blog n blog.. till I lack e inspiration to write. And they prefer me writing abt my life rather than wateva stuff im doin nw. But hey, im a closed kinda person. I dun wanna let pple nter my personal space n knw abt my life. Cos sum pple out der will bitch abt it.
N NO shafa, I dun wan u to acknowledge us as witchez. I wan u to acknowledge us as Farz, Dewi, n Aini respectively.. We got name not for nuting. How wud u feel wen I write captions as We n HER instead of US together?.. n oh shafa.. ur excuse for staying a distant frm us during e study wk wen lin came to us is soo inappropriate. I mean, we as a fren atleast dtg skjap jengok n tegur ke instead of standing der. It juz interpret sumting wrong..
N oh.. why e sudden increase abt e pix in my fotopages?.. u guys tink we got much time to upload str8 to e comp? Why tis? Why find fault wif my fotopages? I mean so wat if I delay e picx? U mean u guys check it out n to make ursef angry n pissed wif wateva happen to us? N den bitch abt it n blablabla? E ting is tt, we got no time to update my fotopages or blog or wat so eva. We had other better tings to do. We got frens outside too, we got other stuffs, we got family outing, kuzzins gatherin.. so fotopages n blogs n wat haf u is nt as impt n we can update later.. n at e end of e dae, we r soo tired tt we rather slp. SO dun assume.
Ok since all tis is all up, we all knw wats in our heart n mind, its soo OBVIOUS tt all tis is cause of misunderstanding n assumptions n our childish act.. N if we tink tings cudnt get any better, tts juz plain assumptions too. Mayb we cud start anew n learn frm mistakes.. n b together as one. I knw it will b awkward. But we shd give it a try.. No harm trying ryt?.. Afterall, we still haf e ‘misfit’ heart in us =)
n for our own info, tis misfit came abt on 1st april.. so lets hope we cud settle b4 1st april n celebrate our frenships.. let sae Lunch?
Hmm seriously i dunnoe whr n wat to start. But bear in mind tt i haf few vocabs n limited words to describe ks. N sorry for my grammar mistakes.
AnihOo.. I really find tis ting a childish kinda ting.. Seriously.. But as a grp, evry1 plays a part. N tis recent misunderstanding is all abt ASSUMPTIONs n our childish act..
So let me clarify was I assume n wats in my tots. *bear in mind again its all abt assumptions*
It started a year ago.. yeap. N I cud remember HOW I plead muhaymin LAST YEAR b4 aini n my bdae cums to ensure tt we r bck together as one. YEAP I pleaded. N muhaymin DID make us back as a grp but someone *mayb* was so angry wif us tt she left. N tt make us soo BINGIT. Yeaps it did. We try to clarify tings up but HOW wen pple juz dun wanna listen..
N it got worst afta my bdae.. I had some VERY misunderstanding wif Lin.. n yeaps cud still rmbr how u saed u didn’t trust me. It really feels lyk a DEEP STAB in my heart tt it juz wont heal. I knw I hid tings frm u. But u MAKE some assumptions tt is soo ridiculous. N den wat makes me feel more hurtful is tt u deleted ALL our pics (me n u) away at ur frenster.. NOT a single one left. N it hurt me soo soo much tt I actually deleted our pics at my frenster too.. Ok i knw im childish.
And tts whr e most OBVIOUS cliques started to come out.
So wats tt suppose to mean? That Im e culprit for wat had happen to us??! N yeaps I do had e guilty feelings. But den again, everyone’s play a part. Not apart.
Ok lets rewind abit n talk abt tis emo emo stuff since u guys talk abt it. the ting is tt, its NOT n nvr wrong to b emotionals. But it affect us soo much. Wen u guys came dwn to sch wif a black face, we try to ask r u ok.. but u olways sae ur ok. Wen we knw ur nt ok at all. So its lyk ur hiding tings frm us n dun wanan share it. Subsequently wen u came in with e black face again, we learn not to ask since u dun wanna share tings wif us.. n den u tot we dun understand u at all wen u dun even tell us wats wrong. So wat r we suppose to do? Make ASSUMPTIONS abt ur probs?..
The fact tt I prefer to show the happy side of me is tt I dun wan me to b a burden to my frens. Not tt Im sayin u guys (those emotional ones) r a burden to me.. But I rather see pple happy den sad.. Mayb I make e wrong mistake by making a joke abt ur probs.. but yeah it was an intention to make u smile. But mayb it turn out jus SOOOOO wrong.
Ok lets continue again.. abt e hari raya break fast.. e one u guys break fast at ramen, ok so tt was a last min plan kan.. but u guys plan without us.. n u guys tell us to e very babz last mins at e PLATFORM wen we actually overheard ur plans during the clinicals.. *tts late enuf to tell.. coz if it’s a last min, u guys wont b talking abt it durng e lab* n OH.. u guys cud juz sae during the clinicals if we wanna break fast wif u guys even if u guys dun knw whr to dine in.
For u’r information Lin, Shafa n Hana.. YOU guys did e rollerblading first. N we got soo pissed off tt we’r NOT invited on tt very dae, tt we make our own rollerblading n lie abt e dates since dewi’s camera can change e date. We actually go rollerblading 1wk AFTER ur event. *tis is e truth* N coz we ASSUME tt u guys dun wanna had outings wif us again n tt we’r totally not invited, we make our childish move to make more outings..
MORE n more n u guys make MORE n MORE tt it bcoms sooo WORST tt it adds on to e mess we created.. a misunderstandings n assumptions.
N abt e raya outing.. u guys actually make e plan to go hari raya outing afta exams, b4 min go aust. Its u guys make e plans 1st.. but it end up we 3. N it feels lyk as if misfit has totally broken up.. n it feels lyk a witchez raya outing instead. We r more lyk frustrated cos we cudnt celebrate tis special occasions as one. Sad, truly sad abt it. But I knw u guys gt some reasons. But den if lin were sick, shdnt she b resting at hm?.. Ok so we make a +ve assumptions tt mayb shafa’s hse is nearer so she can go.. n we tried soooo hard to reach shafa’s hse ASAP but e buses r juz nt on our side.. n we had to wait for haf an hr or more. N wen we reach, we found out tt Lin had gone hme.. We truly tried our bes to see lin.. but yeah she need a rest.
Then afta some times, cliques n cliques bcome soo close n we didn’t tok much to e other cliques. N u guys olwas whisper2 to each other wen Lin had oreadi saed its RUDE to whisper in a grp.. So look who’s whispering now. We stop our whispering but u guys did e whispering tt we make our whispering exist again. Ok n u guys hid so many tings infrnt of us.. infrnt of us.. not bhind.
Ok nx is abt e valentines dae.. it was a super last min.. but e fact is someone tol min tt we didn’t tel u abt it. We did. We did!! *same case as ur rollerblading excuses.. last min kinda ting* Fair enuf?
Ok den abt e cookies.. for ur info, I search e wholeeeeee tampines area to find extra bahan2 to make for u guys as well.. Im searching for e instant nye so tt its easier. But damn tampines area dun haf bahan.. n e bahan my mum make is nt enuf for e 7 of us. But i haf oreadi e niat to make for my gf n sis cos i didn’t give dem any bdae present during their chalet.. So dun ASSUME I didn’t wanna bake for u. It juz soo happen not enuf bahan. Infact, I plan to bake brownie n cookies for our class too. But e stupid tampines dun sell dos instant stuff. If u find tis juz a typical excuses, den if ok… but im truly sorri if u find its rude. BUT atleast I dun giv e cookies infrnt of u guys.. tts more rude kan wen u dun get e cookies..
Abt this expressing ur feelings kinda things, doesn’t mean BLOGGING is the place to express ur feelings. It’s a freeflow of werds. I choose my bloggin to b my beautiful inspiration.. but den pple keep buggin me to blog n blog.. till I lack e inspiration to write. And they prefer me writing abt my life rather than wateva stuff im doin nw. But hey, im a closed kinda person. I dun wanna let pple nter my personal space n knw abt my life. Cos sum pple out der will bitch abt it.
N NO shafa, I dun wan u to acknowledge us as witchez. I wan u to acknowledge us as Farz, Dewi, n Aini respectively.. We got name not for nuting. How wud u feel wen I write captions as We n HER instead of US together?.. n oh shafa.. ur excuse for staying a distant frm us during e study wk wen lin came to us is soo inappropriate. I mean, we as a fren atleast dtg skjap jengok n tegur ke instead of standing der. It juz interpret sumting wrong..
N oh.. why e sudden increase abt e pix in my fotopages?.. u guys tink we got much time to upload str8 to e comp? Why tis? Why find fault wif my fotopages? I mean so wat if I delay e picx? U mean u guys check it out n to make ursef angry n pissed wif wateva happen to us? N den bitch abt it n blablabla? E ting is tt, we got no time to update my fotopages or blog or wat so eva. We had other better tings to do. We got frens outside too, we got other stuffs, we got family outing, kuzzins gatherin.. so fotopages n blogs n wat haf u is nt as impt n we can update later.. n at e end of e dae, we r soo tired tt we rather slp. SO dun assume.
Ok since all tis is all up, we all knw wats in our heart n mind, its soo OBVIOUS tt all tis is cause of misunderstanding n assumptions n our childish act.. N if we tink tings cudnt get any better, tts juz plain assumptions too. Mayb we cud start anew n learn frm mistakes.. n b together as one. I knw it will b awkward. But we shd give it a try.. No harm trying ryt?.. Afterall, we still haf e ‘misfit’ heart in us =)
n for our own info, tis misfit came abt on 1st april.. so lets hope we cud settle b4 1st april n celebrate our frenships.. let sae Lunch?
This is Lin, Shafa & Hana.
Thank you Aini, Dewi & Min for your honesty and frankness [we hope] towards what is happening to the misfits. Since you have been honest and frank, we guess its time we did the same too.
Muhaymin,
All this while you have been claiming that you are on the neutral sides. And you are not siding anyone. Frankly at first we doubt you because you have been quite close to the witches. And that starts of a misunderstanding that you prefer them to us. YEah call us childish la for even thinking that way but that is what it seems to be. And we appreciate that you are trying to make the first step in making things better. And you are waiting for the rest of the 6 hands to join you.
As someone who is more matured and rational, we do expect you to respond with a certain level of reasons. However, at times you do not react accordingly and it doesnt seem to help at all. Instead we're left to figure things out ourselves. Note : Not blaming you for not being able to help out effectively. Just that sometimes you need to really understand whats happening on both sides before u console a side on behalf of the other. It makes things worse.
We understand your care and concern for all of us. We do understand your plight at times because you are dealing with 2 sides. But for whatever it is, thank you for being the matured, rational & neutral party around us. What makes us think that ur with them is the fact that u always fall into the situations when we're absent.
In relation to crimes, suppose gang A and gang B.
Gang A has a new member and is learning the way of how to go about with gang fights.
He follows the gang to confront the other.
A fight breaks out.
A member or members of the other team gets killed.
He was simply standing there not doing anything.
When the police arrives
does he get caught as well?
YES
But did he kill the person?
NO
But will he be charged?
YES
So basically, you're like the new gang member.
If a passerby comes by, he would be looked upon as one of those murderers.
If someone who knows him sees this, he/she would have doubts about his act.
So, its hard not to think of you as the wizard of the witches with all these happening.
It just comes naturally.
Aini,
Labelling and the forming of cliques are different.
First day of school we did come up with that labelling of adik beradik and all, however, did we do things according to those supposed-cliques? No. So itz not really cliques formed. Ok, no big deal abt that.
Moving on,
During ramadhan, if you refering to the 2006 one. During the break fast when we were all wearing yellow [If that was what you were refering to] everyone was there except for farz cause she had Tahlil if not mistaken.
Then there were other occasions when we went to break fast separately.
Yes we did went geylang without Aini, farz & dewi. But why we didnt ask you all along. That is something you must question. It happen quite some time back and forgive us because our memory fails us. We have no answer to that. BUt If you question our intentions about wanting to make you all jealous, i think its ridiculous. Who would have such thoughts? We thank you for actually giving us such an idea. So now you know we're not the type of childish people to have such childish thoughts- an outing just out to make you all jealous.
Days before, i [shafa] asked you all except for Min whether you want to join us to go Ramen Ten to break fast together, But you said that you had to go home because your mum cooks your share. Then i overheard Farz saying that you were supposed to follow her to go bugis and buy something. I don't know about Dewi though. And if you were wondering we made a last minute decision to go there. And so we had to ask you all last minute too. So, we DID NOT pre plan the ramen ten outing and there were NO intentions to ask you all last minute. If it was something we planned earlier, we would have informed you all.
About the holiday.
We did have initial plans to go rollerblading.
For ALL (except for muhaymin) of us. However, the intended date was not suitable as hana had to work. So I [Lynn] decided to change it to a convenient date that accomodates ALL of us.
Then, one clique had to go ahead rollerblading on the initial date intended, not considering those who can't make it. Not informing the rest of your outing-8th Nov. So you see.. Witches started the outing during the holidays without informing us first. And then came the subsequent outing with each other-VIVO CT, BOWLING, MALAYSIA, SENTOSA. . And the best thing of all, you all went ahead without asking whether we can join. And guess wat? We spent most of our holidays at home or doing our own individual things other than rollerblading and the zoo outing.
BOTTOM LINE: You all went ahead with rollerblading 1ST. Itz not us. However the way you said it, is like as if we went first and then you guys reciprocated with going to more places without us (like we care about competing abt this)
About raya, We are so sorry Muhaymin we didn't go to your house during raya. And lets clarify why we were not there.
Lin- Didn't come cause she was sick.
Hana- She had to work, therefore she couldn't come.
For me [Shafa]- I told you guys that my brother had a problem and that I had to meet him but I still invited all of you to come to my house.
Call it COINCIDENCE. But its just the way it is. Its NOT that WE WERE NOT IN THE MOOD.
Please know the facts before telling the next time round alright.
So came the valentine's day. Yeah you did mentioned to keep wednesday free but only dewi confirm. But we were all enthu about it but sadly not everyone is free. And so i [lynn] asked you all to change the date to a convenient day. But apparently that didnt happen la. You just went ahead without telling us. But you claimed that you told us it was changed to 13/02. ALL of us didnt know about it AT ALL till Hana told us abt it. It was our last lecture.
Lin- skipped lecture to meet bf
Shafa- malas nak gi lecture and so she went off alone
Halfway thru last lecture, Aini asked me [Hana] whether i wanna join em go pizza hut.
I turned down because i had plans already. (Didnt noe the pizza date was set on tues)
The deal here is that why ask me last min when you could have told us earlier?
If you had done so, Lin and Shafa wouldn't have to make their own last min plans.
During study time, I[shafa] didn't thought that Lin was going to talk to you all that long so therefore I stayed at the distance. But I did however smiled to you guys what. For psycho papers. We came early to school to study together. And we did saw u all. Why we didnt even bother sitting together with you all is because there has been a rift between us and the cliques are getting too apparent. So we guess there is no point sitting together when we dun feel as one anymore.
A rude shock came DAYS BEFORE when we discovered that Farz baked cookies for special/loved ones. And we were NOT included. How do you think it made us feel? So is this your so-called trying-to-make-things-better ? It really did, didnt it ..
Blogs are meant for expressing of words and thoughts. At least that's what we [those who have blogs] feel. I bet you and dewi would do the same if u guys have blogs. So itz NOT a matter of showing off the JOY we had. Itz juz an expression for people to know. Not to be sour about. Do we know what you feel? But DO YOU KNOW HOW WE FEEL? ESPECIALLY when things are hidden from us. Is it wrong for us to say that you all have lied about things.
I[shafa] blog about what I feel. Must I really address everyone's name? No right? Or you prefer me to call you the witches?
We do came to school ocasionally with "Black" faces. To each is its own. All of us show our unhappiness differently. How does it makes us feel when you all keep sayin "emo..Emo" It hurts you know just labeling us like that. Is it wrong to feel "Emo"? You may be the type who keeps things to yourself and prefer to show the happy side of you. But some of us dun. Ask yourself, did u ever tried to really understand either any 3 of us? Our Lives. Our going on. Our ups and downs. For me [lynn] I would very much like a friend who would listen to my woes without having to keep making side jokes while i am expressing. I know the intention is to make us smile but have it ever crosses your mind that. that is not what we really want. In fact, i [lynn] feel offended. It makes all of you all look fake and insincere and that you don't take us seriously.
Dewi,
Yes you're right, we lost respect for you. We really meant what we said & we're nt gg to take back those words.
Itz funny how you should get tired with this "competition". We never thought of it as a competition in the first place. It was never meant to be a competiton in the first place. So who is the one who has childish thoughts?
I find it funny when ppl dress religiously, teaches and conforms to religion, yet they don’t practice what they preach. But it doesnt matter anymore and im not fussing over it.
Hmm.. self fulfilling prophecy huh. WOW! U study too hard to carry it forward in practice huh. Well..
"Dont make assumption/s about ppl. It will only cause conflicts & misunderstandings". How nice you put it. So are you saying we make assumptions. We played a role in causing the witches response? Common la. Why dun you also say the same for you witches too. Did it ever occur to you the role you played in causing the misunderstandings too. So what. You are the goody two shoes and we are the bad ones?
Anyway what makes you all so sure that we are the ones that started this self fulfilling prophecy?
If we were to mend things, do you think that we can be as one like before?
After all that happened.
Can we possibly be genuinely happy together?
Can we look at each other without such thoughts?
The impressions made are somehow indelible.
And you all keep saying you all miss the misfits. You want the misfits back. So tell us.. what you all intend to do?
Are u all just intending to just say and do nothing?
Dun get us wrong. We do not mean that we do not have the intention to have the old times. The misfits we used to have. But we are just trying to be objective, realistic & practical. If ALL of us can surpassed all that feelings and weirdness... then misfits is headin somewhere. If not what is the point because at the end of the day it will just be pretence.
P/S: Why the increase in pictures which wasn't there before? In reference to Farz's fotopage, Witches dae. What took so long to post pictures that was taken months ago? What were you hiding? What were your intentions?
"The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship"
Thank you Aini, Dewi & Min for your honesty and frankness [we hope] towards what is happening to the misfits. Since you have been honest and frank, we guess its time we did the same too.
Muhaymin,
All this while you have been claiming that you are on the neutral sides. And you are not siding anyone. Frankly at first we doubt you because you have been quite close to the witches. And that starts of a misunderstanding that you prefer them to us. YEah call us childish la for even thinking that way but that is what it seems to be. And we appreciate that you are trying to make the first step in making things better. And you are waiting for the rest of the 6 hands to join you.
As someone who is more matured and rational, we do expect you to respond with a certain level of reasons. However, at times you do not react accordingly and it doesnt seem to help at all. Instead we're left to figure things out ourselves. Note : Not blaming you for not being able to help out effectively. Just that sometimes you need to really understand whats happening on both sides before u console a side on behalf of the other. It makes things worse.
We understand your care and concern for all of us. We do understand your plight at times because you are dealing with 2 sides. But for whatever it is, thank you for being the matured, rational & neutral party around us. What makes us think that ur with them is the fact that u always fall into the situations when we're absent.
In relation to crimes, suppose gang A and gang B.
Gang A has a new member and is learning the way of how to go about with gang fights.
He follows the gang to confront the other.
A fight breaks out.
A member or members of the other team gets killed.
He was simply standing there not doing anything.
When the police arrives
does he get caught as well?
YES
But did he kill the person?
NO
But will he be charged?
YES
So basically, you're like the new gang member.
If a passerby comes by, he would be looked upon as one of those murderers.
If someone who knows him sees this, he/she would have doubts about his act.
So, its hard not to think of you as the wizard of the witches with all these happening.
It just comes naturally.
Aini,
Labelling and the forming of cliques are different.
First day of school we did come up with that labelling of adik beradik and all, however, did we do things according to those supposed-cliques? No. So itz not really cliques formed. Ok, no big deal abt that.
Moving on,
During ramadhan, if you refering to the 2006 one. During the break fast when we were all wearing yellow [If that was what you were refering to] everyone was there except for farz cause she had Tahlil if not mistaken.
Then there were other occasions when we went to break fast separately.
Yes we did went geylang without Aini, farz & dewi. But why we didnt ask you all along. That is something you must question. It happen quite some time back and forgive us because our memory fails us. We have no answer to that. BUt If you question our intentions about wanting to make you all jealous, i think its ridiculous. Who would have such thoughts? We thank you for actually giving us such an idea. So now you know we're not the type of childish people to have such childish thoughts- an outing just out to make you all jealous.
Days before, i [shafa] asked you all except for Min whether you want to join us to go Ramen Ten to break fast together, But you said that you had to go home because your mum cooks your share. Then i overheard Farz saying that you were supposed to follow her to go bugis and buy something. I don't know about Dewi though. And if you were wondering we made a last minute decision to go there. And so we had to ask you all last minute too. So, we DID NOT pre plan the ramen ten outing and there were NO intentions to ask you all last minute. If it was something we planned earlier, we would have informed you all.
About the holiday.
We did have initial plans to go rollerblading.
For ALL (except for muhaymin) of us. However, the intended date was not suitable as hana had to work. So I [Lynn] decided to change it to a convenient date that accomodates ALL of us.
Then, one clique had to go ahead rollerblading on the initial date intended, not considering those who can't make it. Not informing the rest of your outing-8th Nov. So you see.. Witches started the outing during the holidays without informing us first. And then came the subsequent outing with each other-VIVO CT, BOWLING, MALAYSIA, SENTOSA. . And the best thing of all, you all went ahead without asking whether we can join. And guess wat? We spent most of our holidays at home or doing our own individual things other than rollerblading and the zoo outing.
BOTTOM LINE: You all went ahead with rollerblading 1ST. Itz not us. However the way you said it, is like as if we went first and then you guys reciprocated with going to more places without us (like we care about competing abt this)
About raya, We are so sorry Muhaymin we didn't go to your house during raya. And lets clarify why we were not there.
Lin- Didn't come cause she was sick.
Hana- She had to work, therefore she couldn't come.
For me [Shafa]- I told you guys that my brother had a problem and that I had to meet him but I still invited all of you to come to my house.
Call it COINCIDENCE. But its just the way it is. Its NOT that WE WERE NOT IN THE MOOD.
Please know the facts before telling the next time round alright.
So came the valentine's day. Yeah you did mentioned to keep wednesday free but only dewi confirm. But we were all enthu about it but sadly not everyone is free. And so i [lynn] asked you all to change the date to a convenient day. But apparently that didnt happen la. You just went ahead without telling us. But you claimed that you told us it was changed to 13/02. ALL of us didnt know about it AT ALL till Hana told us abt it. It was our last lecture.
Lin- skipped lecture to meet bf
Shafa- malas nak gi lecture and so she went off alone
Halfway thru last lecture, Aini asked me [Hana] whether i wanna join em go pizza hut.
I turned down because i had plans already. (Didnt noe the pizza date was set on tues)
The deal here is that why ask me last min when you could have told us earlier?
If you had done so, Lin and Shafa wouldn't have to make their own last min plans.
During study time, I[shafa] didn't thought that Lin was going to talk to you all that long so therefore I stayed at the distance. But I did however smiled to you guys what. For psycho papers. We came early to school to study together. And we did saw u all. Why we didnt even bother sitting together with you all is because there has been a rift between us and the cliques are getting too apparent. So we guess there is no point sitting together when we dun feel as one anymore.
A rude shock came DAYS BEFORE when we discovered that Farz baked cookies for special/loved ones. And we were NOT included. How do you think it made us feel? So is this your so-called trying-to-make-things-better ? It really did, didnt it ..
Blogs are meant for expressing of words and thoughts. At least that's what we [those who have blogs] feel. I bet you and dewi would do the same if u guys have blogs. So itz NOT a matter of showing off the JOY we had. Itz juz an expression for people to know. Not to be sour about. Do we know what you feel? But DO YOU KNOW HOW WE FEEL? ESPECIALLY when things are hidden from us. Is it wrong for us to say that you all have lied about things.
I[shafa] blog about what I feel. Must I really address everyone's name? No right? Or you prefer me to call you the witches?
We do came to school ocasionally with "Black" faces. To each is its own. All of us show our unhappiness differently. How does it makes us feel when you all keep sayin "emo..Emo" It hurts you know just labeling us like that. Is it wrong to feel "Emo"? You may be the type who keeps things to yourself and prefer to show the happy side of you. But some of us dun. Ask yourself, did u ever tried to really understand either any 3 of us? Our Lives. Our going on. Our ups and downs. For me [lynn] I would very much like a friend who would listen to my woes without having to keep making side jokes while i am expressing. I know the intention is to make us smile but have it ever crosses your mind that. that is not what we really want. In fact, i [lynn] feel offended. It makes all of you all look fake and insincere and that you don't take us seriously.
Dewi,
Yes you're right, we lost respect for you. We really meant what we said & we're nt gg to take back those words.
Itz funny how you should get tired with this "competition". We never thought of it as a competition in the first place. It was never meant to be a competiton in the first place. So who is the one who has childish thoughts?
I find it funny when ppl dress religiously, teaches and conforms to religion, yet they don’t practice what they preach. But it doesnt matter anymore and im not fussing over it.
Hmm.. self fulfilling prophecy huh. WOW! U study too hard to carry it forward in practice huh. Well..
"Dont make assumption/s about ppl. It will only cause conflicts & misunderstandings". How nice you put it. So are you saying we make assumptions. We played a role in causing the witches response? Common la. Why dun you also say the same for you witches too. Did it ever occur to you the role you played in causing the misunderstandings too. So what. You are the goody two shoes and we are the bad ones?
Anyway what makes you all so sure that we are the ones that started this self fulfilling prophecy?
If we were to mend things, do you think that we can be as one like before?
After all that happened.
Can we possibly be genuinely happy together?
Can we look at each other without such thoughts?
The impressions made are somehow indelible.
And you all keep saying you all miss the misfits. You want the misfits back. So tell us.. what you all intend to do?
Are u all just intending to just say and do nothing?
Dun get us wrong. We do not mean that we do not have the intention to have the old times. The misfits we used to have. But we are just trying to be objective, realistic & practical. If ALL of us can surpassed all that feelings and weirdness... then misfits is headin somewhere. If not what is the point because at the end of the day it will just be pretence.
P/S: Why the increase in pictures which wasn't there before? In reference to Farz's fotopage, Witches dae. What took so long to post pictures that was taken months ago? What were you hiding? What were your intentions?
"The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship"
i gez it’s time for all of us to let out what’s been bothering us all this while.
Yes I’m the bitch who posted the self-fulfilling prophecy. I really meant what I said & I’m nt gg to take back my words. Lately you claimed that we never invite you to any of our outing when we actually did. Ok maybe it wasn’t me who invite you but either aini or farz did actually make an effort to invite you ppl. We ask out of sincerity not merely 4 the sake of asking. I don’t know why you twist the words saying we never invite when you know we actually did. Frankly I won’t tolerate with ppl with twisted tongue. I knew one person who’s like that & I don’t need another one. So please clarify….
I find this whole thing is so childish. Ever since we have cliques we tend to compete with each other who has the most outings, most pictures taken, go places that the other never go…etc. seriously I’m getting tired.
I find it funny when ppl say “don’t further destroy the friendship”, “ still consider us as one group” yet they don’t practice what they preach. In fact they do the opposite things & make assumptions that we (as in me, aini & farz) want to destroy it. Tell me how fair is that when you are the ones who give the sour faces, keep a distance from us etc. did you notice that you are the ones that make it happen? That’s what I call self-fulfilling prophecy. Sure me, aini & farz don’t really do anything to amend this friendship except that we still acknowledge & talk when we bump into each other. Pretending there’s nothing happened between us.
I once told lin that “nt everyone is really comfortable with each other. yes we all can share laughters & stuffs. but it isnt the same when sharing feelings, tots & secrets”. In this case it’s so obvious that lin, shafa & farhana are comfortable with each other and that me with farz & aini. But doesn’t mean that we gonna split into 2 4ever. We can still have fun as misfits like we used. I really miss those times. And I’m sure the rest of you do too. I know the real meaning of joy & fun through misfits. I hope we can still be the misfits like we used to. I dun wish this friendship to end this way & I dun wish it to end either but I dunno how to start & what to do to amend this friendship. Lets all start afresh & clear all the misunderstandings.
About me going clubbing I know I’ve lost some of your respect. Anyway I’ve long lost the respect which I don’t blame anyone but myself. Ok back to the clubbing I know given my background I should have set a gd example but I failed. Frankly that nite was my 2nd time. The 1st time I went is purely out of curiosity. I juz want 2 know why are these ppl like to club so much. The 2nd time was bcoz it was a class outing. I juz went along. No more than that. It’s up to you to believe me or not. I know my limits & I hope I won’t get addicted to clubbing. That’s only tiny weeny of my dark side that u’ve seen. There’s more. But none of you know. Not even aini or farz. Only time will tell. the tudung is like a reminder to prevent me from doing further sinful deeds. I know I’m such a hypocrite but I really hope you guys accept me for who I am.
Yes I’m the bitch who posted the self-fulfilling prophecy. I really meant what I said & I’m nt gg to take back my words. Lately you claimed that we never invite you to any of our outing when we actually did. Ok maybe it wasn’t me who invite you but either aini or farz did actually make an effort to invite you ppl. We ask out of sincerity not merely 4 the sake of asking. I don’t know why you twist the words saying we never invite when you know we actually did. Frankly I won’t tolerate with ppl with twisted tongue. I knew one person who’s like that & I don’t need another one. So please clarify….
I find this whole thing is so childish. Ever since we have cliques we tend to compete with each other who has the most outings, most pictures taken, go places that the other never go…etc. seriously I’m getting tired.
I find it funny when ppl say “don’t further destroy the friendship”, “ still consider us as one group” yet they don’t practice what they preach. In fact they do the opposite things & make assumptions that we (as in me, aini & farz) want to destroy it. Tell me how fair is that when you are the ones who give the sour faces, keep a distance from us etc. did you notice that you are the ones that make it happen? That’s what I call self-fulfilling prophecy. Sure me, aini & farz don’t really do anything to amend this friendship except that we still acknowledge & talk when we bump into each other. Pretending there’s nothing happened between us.
I once told lin that “nt everyone is really comfortable with each other. yes we all can share laughters & stuffs. but it isnt the same when sharing feelings, tots & secrets”. In this case it’s so obvious that lin, shafa & farhana are comfortable with each other and that me with farz & aini. But doesn’t mean that we gonna split into 2 4ever. We can still have fun as misfits like we used. I really miss those times. And I’m sure the rest of you do too. I know the real meaning of joy & fun through misfits. I hope we can still be the misfits like we used to. I dun wish this friendship to end this way & I dun wish it to end either but I dunno how to start & what to do to amend this friendship. Lets all start afresh & clear all the misunderstandings.
About me going clubbing I know I’ve lost some of your respect. Anyway I’ve long lost the respect which I don’t blame anyone but myself. Ok back to the clubbing I know given my background I should have set a gd example but I failed. Frankly that nite was my 2nd time. The 1st time I went is purely out of curiosity. I juz want 2 know why are these ppl like to club so much. The 2nd time was bcoz it was a class outing. I juz went along. No more than that. It’s up to you to believe me or not. I know my limits & I hope I won’t get addicted to clubbing. That’s only tiny weeny of my dark side that u’ve seen. There’s more. But none of you know. Not even aini or farz. Only time will tell. the tudung is like a reminder to prevent me from doing further sinful deeds. I know I’m such a hypocrite but I really hope you guys accept me for who I am.
Let's all work together to bring misfits back
Friday, March 23, 2007
I’ve been keeping quiet for quite sometime but I think it's time i say my point of view... I think I just wanna let out wat I feel now once and for all... I dunno wat gonna happen after wat I have to say but my clear objectives now is:
- let it all out
- with ZERO intentions to hurt anyone
- reflection
- NOT making it as a personal attack
Conflicts are going on... saying that misfits are hurting one another... claiming not inviting each other for outings..
When this conflict actually starts to happen? How it happened? Why it happened? Almost one year ago? When each of us realised there were cliques between us. some of us don't think so... during the very first day of school there's already cliques of adik-beradik and anak tunggals.. but there's no problem until lately..
Let’s see what’s happening..
During ramadhan- there are break fast… who were there? Then next another cliques – when to break fast at geylang.. (thinking that maybe they wanna make us jealous, so they went)
Holidays – wow there’s so many outing… go rollerblading… who were there? The other cliques did the same.. they decided to go holiday to Malaysia and also go for rollerblading.
Raya – we did planning to go visiting after our papers… but who end up going..? Farz, dewi, Aini… the rest shafa – no mood.. farhana – not in the mood.. lin – no mood.. it’s ok.. maybe this year’s raya not exciting.. in fact I dun feel the excitement too..
Then school starts.. we act like normal.. like nothing happened.. but still separate outing were planned among us…
Then comes Valentines Day.. I dunno if you all remember.. a week before Valentines Day… I(AiNi) said, to keep your Wednesday (14022007) free so we can eat at pizza hut.. but you all said not confirm yet except for dewi.. farz – got soccer, lin – got something on.. shafa – dunno yet.. farhana – got tuition.. on the Monday (12022007) farz send sms to all of us.. starting with dear misfits……….. farhana- got tuition, lin- got something on.. shafa- dunno yet.. seems like nobody is free on 14/02 so we said 13/02 but all still got something on.. so the 3 of us go ahead with the plan eating at pizza hut..
Things got worse and worst.. more and more complicated.. study never study together.. (well, all 3 years we never did we just study small2 groups)… one of the days, lin and shafa came, lin came to our table shafa just stand a distance.. before social psycho paper, we sat in the library, we saw lin, shafa, farhana came in.. we thought you gonna sit with us.. but instead you choose a table a distance from us..
So we are the fading misfits.. quoted by lin- you all fix the pieces la heh.. just wanna clarify.. you all????? So it’s our fault.. shafa – you all like us breaking up like this right???
Think again? Who even want this to happen? All this is happening because we never try solve it.. we just blame each other for making it happen.. ask muhaymin.. what we plan? When things started to messed up I ask pakcik to organise a heart to heart talk.. so we can clear things up.. but never happen because all of us are busy.. k fine.. I wanted to take the opportunity to make it during hari raya where we can seek forgiveness but never happen as only 3 of us went.. you should see very well how pakcik’s reaction.. he was so disappointed that only the 3 of us came.. and that day was a day before he left for Australia..
Do you even know that we tried? When you came to school looking so black? Who even tried to start a conversation? We tried but it takes 2 hands to clap.. blogged emphasizing what a joyful outing you had together.. this and tat.. you only think about how you feel.. do you know how we feel? Shafa.. addressing us as them.. who is the them? We don’t have a name.. Did farz/dewi address you all as them???? When you all cabut for lectures… the cards are with me.. cause pakcik had to prepare for presentations… if I wanna backstab you.. knowing that you have poor attendance I would just skip your cards and tap the others..
During study week.. when we first saw you in hotshots.. we felt very awkward but we just come and sit around for a while.. not wanting to make you all feel that we are avoiding you all.. the next day.. brought extra snacks and titbits thinking maybe we can share with you all.. do you know that??? NO… do you even know how many times we went to hotshots looking for you all..
At least I know I never hate anyone of you.. in fact I love all of us having fun together.. and I so miss those moments.. doing funny2 things.. I wont deny I want US to be together again… we just dun wanna face the music together.. sitting together and say what we are not happy about.. what all of us did??? AVOID and IGNORE..
Everybody have their fair share of problems.. nobody have a perfect life.. NOBODY.. I may seem to be happy-go-lucky but I have my share too… it’s just that I like to just keep to myself…
Farhana – though being short-tempered, but soft on the inside… just like hello panda.. the room temperature one of cause.. someone who just go with the flow kind.. her temper will subside when she cools down..
Shafa - used to be quiet but now… hehehe… you should not be easily bullied by anybody… you are too kind sometimes…
Lin – too fragile.. but think again.. I know you are easily hurt.. but that does not mean other won’t get hurt.. sometimes you thinking only about how you feel make people feel so hurt that you don’t even know.. but good points.. crappy, her clumsiness just can crack people up and very ON..
Dewi – small but big.. she got a temper too man.. straightforward sometimes.. I get hurt by your words too sometimes.. =S she even more worst than farhana I suppose.. angry max difficult to subside..
Farz – seem to be happy-go-lucky too but like I said nobody’s life is perfect… also very ON.. and very thrifty..
Witches.. sometimes I feel am I suppose to be there? Cause my clumsiness and my slengehness make you all feel geram.. and hence saying things that arghhh make me wanna shout… but maybe I deserve it.. though sometimes I wonder where I belong.. I love the company with every single one of you misfits… I can clique with dewi and farz better maybe because there are more predictable… it’s not that I wanna say that the others are unpredictable it’s just that sometimes I dunno if it’s the right time to talk to you all.. you all are sometimes having problems and want to be alone.. so I guess that’s all I have to say.. I hope we can get better although school has ended..
Conclusion – all of us want things to get better… but we expect a miracle to happen.. some can’t be bothered thinking.. well school has ended.. well Singapore is not big.. even in big countries people can bump to each other… I feel that we in a war.. mission - who have the most outing wins…
Maybe all of us will do reflections.. last but not least love you all.. and hope you all will do well in PRCP.. and all of us will be a good nurse..
This entry REALLY not for hurting anyone nor it's to point of blame anyone never a personal attack..
I'll make it short and sweet.....
in this world, everyone can friend anyone....
any unhappiness between friendship, we sit down and talk....
I did tried once and i failed... im sorry about that.
right now i see 2 sides... which shdnt have occured....
im in no favour of any sides....
im handing out my hand to repair our frenship....
u all are invited to do so....
NOW isnt the time to blame at each other....
coz all i see is communication breakdown...
salah anggap and miscommunication....
now YOU ALL can sit back and be contended on what u percieve or u be brave enuff to stand up and clarify things...
its time to be objective.....
if u cant do any good... dont do any harm....
I wanna do good to this friendship... up to u whether wan join me
just please dun destroy it...
im not beating around the bush.. im not hiding who am i referring to
im referring to every single one of US (including me) who has built this friendship...
reflect on OURSELF.....
in this world, everyone can friend anyone....
any unhappiness between friendship, we sit down and talk....
I did tried once and i failed... im sorry about that.
right now i see 2 sides... which shdnt have occured....
im in no favour of any sides....
im handing out my hand to repair our frenship....
u all are invited to do so....
NOW isnt the time to blame at each other....
coz all i see is communication breakdown...
salah anggap and miscommunication....
now YOU ALL can sit back and be contended on what u percieve or u be brave enuff to stand up and clarify things...
its time to be objective.....
if u cant do any good... dont do any harm....
I wanna do good to this friendship... up to u whether wan join me
just please dun destroy it...
im not beating around the bush.. im not hiding who am i referring to
im referring to every single one of US (including me) who has built this friendship...
reflect on OURSELF.....
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Revision: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Definition: The tendency for one's expectations to evoke behaviour in others that confirms the expectations. -> behaves in a way tt cause smtg to come true
for example:
- You think that your friend purposely exclude you out from an outing.
- So you will behave towards your friend in a way that's consistent with your theory which is exclude him/her out from your outing.
- Your friend responds to your behaviour in a similar manner -> since you didnt invite him/her along, he/she also will not invite you.
- When this happen, you see your friend's behaviour as proof that your expectancy was right. you dont realise the role you played in causing your friend's response.
conclusion:
Dont make assumption/s about ppl. It will only cause conflicts & misunderstandings.
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