I’ve been keeping quiet for quite sometime but I think it's time i say my point of view... I think I just wanna let out wat I feel now once and for all... I dunno wat gonna happen after wat I have to say but my clear objectives now is:

- let it all out
- with ZERO intentions to hurt anyone
- reflection
- NOT making it as a personal attack

Conflicts are going on... saying that misfits are hurting one another... claiming not inviting each other for outings..

When this conflict actually starts to happen? How it happened? Why it happened? Almost one year ago? When each of us realised there were cliques between us. some of us don't think so... during the very first day of school there's already cliques of adik-beradik and anak tunggals.. but there's no problem until lately..

Let’s see what’s happening..

During ramadhan- there are break fast… who were there? Then next another cliques – when to break fast at geylang.. (thinking that maybe they wanna make us jealous, so they went)

Holidays – wow there’s so many outing… go rollerblading… who were there? The other cliques did the same.. they decided to go holiday to Malaysia and also go for rollerblading.

Raya – we did planning to go visiting after our papers… but who end up going..? Farz, dewi, Aini… the rest shafa – no mood.. farhana – not in the mood.. lin – no mood.. it’s ok.. maybe this year’s raya not exciting.. in fact I dun feel the excitement too..

Then school starts.. we act like normal.. like nothing happened.. but still separate outing were planned among us…

Then comes Valentines Day.. I dunno if you all remember.. a week before Valentines Day… I(AiNi) said, to keep your Wednesday (14022007) free so we can eat at pizza hut.. but you all said not confirm yet except for dewi.. farz – got soccer, lin – got something on.. shafa – dunno yet.. farhana – got tuition.. on the Monday (12022007) farz send sms to all of us.. starting with dear misfits……….. farhana- got tuition, lin- got something on.. shafa- dunno yet.. seems like nobody is free on 14/02 so we said 13/02 but all still got something on.. so the 3 of us go ahead with the plan eating at pizza hut..

Things got worse and worst.. more and more complicated.. study never study together.. (well, all 3 years we never did we just study small2 groups)… one of the days, lin and shafa came, lin came to our table shafa just stand a distance.. before social psycho paper, we sat in the library, we saw lin, shafa, farhana came in.. we thought you gonna sit with us.. but instead you choose a table a distance from us..

So we are the fading misfits.. quoted by lin- you all fix the pieces la heh.. just wanna clarify.. you all????? So it’s our fault.. shafa – you all like us breaking up like this right???

Think again? Who even want this to happen? All this is happening because we never try solve it.. we just blame each other for making it happen.. ask muhaymin.. what we plan? When things started to messed up I ask pakcik to organise a heart to heart talk.. so we can clear things up.. but never happen because all of us are busy.. k fine.. I wanted to take the opportunity to make it during hari raya where we can seek forgiveness but never happen as only 3 of us went.. you should see very well how pakcik’s reaction.. he was so disappointed that only the 3 of us came.. and that day was a day before he left for Australia..

Do you even know that we tried? When you came to school looking so black? Who even tried to start a conversation? We tried but it takes 2 hands to clap.. blogged emphasizing what a joyful outing you had together.. this and tat.. you only think about how you feel.. do you know how we feel? Shafa.. addressing us as them.. who is the them? We don’t have a name.. Did farz/dewi address you all as them???? When you all cabut for lectures… the cards are with me.. cause pakcik had to prepare for presentations… if I wanna backstab you.. knowing that you have poor attendance I would just skip your cards and tap the others..

During study week.. when we first saw you in hotshots.. we felt very awkward but we just come and sit around for a while.. not wanting to make you all feel that we are avoiding you all.. the next day.. brought extra snacks and titbits thinking maybe we can share with you all.. do you know that??? NO… do you even know how many times we went to hotshots looking for you all..

At least I know I never hate anyone of you.. in fact I love all of us having fun together.. and I so miss those moments.. doing funny2 things.. I wont deny I want US to be together again… we just dun wanna face the music together.. sitting together and say what we are not happy about.. what all of us did??? AVOID and IGNORE..

Everybody have their fair share of problems.. nobody have a perfect life.. NOBODY.. I may seem to be happy-go-lucky but I have my share too… it’s just that I like to just keep to myself…

Farhana – though being short-tempered, but soft on the inside… just like hello panda.. the room temperature one of cause.. someone who just go with the flow kind.. her temper will subside when she cools down..

Shafa - used to be quiet but now… hehehe… you should not be easily bullied by anybody… you are too kind sometimes…

Lin – too fragile.. but think again.. I know you are easily hurt.. but that does not mean other won’t get hurt.. sometimes you thinking only about how you feel make people feel so hurt that you don’t even know.. but good points.. crappy, her clumsiness just can crack people up and very ON..

Dewi – small but big.. she got a temper too man.. straightforward sometimes.. I get hurt by your words too sometimes.. =S she even more worst than farhana I suppose.. angry max difficult to subside..

Farz – seem to be happy-go-lucky too but like I said nobody’s life is perfect… also very ON.. and very thrifty..

Witches.. sometimes I feel am I suppose to be there? Cause my clumsiness and my slengehness make you all feel geram.. and hence saying things that arghhh make me wanna shout… but maybe I deserve it.. though sometimes I wonder where I belong.. I love the company with every single one of you misfits… I can clique with dewi and farz better maybe because there are more predictable… it’s not that I wanna say that the others are unpredictable it’s just that sometimes I dunno if it’s the right time to talk to you all.. you all are sometimes having problems and want to be alone.. so I guess that’s all I have to say.. I hope we can get better although school has ended..

Conclusion – all of us want things to get better… but we expect a miracle to happen.. some can’t be bothered thinking.. well school has ended.. well Singapore is not big.. even in big countries people can bump to each other… I feel that we in a war.. mission - who have the most outing wins…

Maybe all of us will do reflections.. last but not least love you all.. and hope you all will do well in PRCP.. and all of us will be a good nurse..

This entry REALLY not for hurting anyone nor it's to point of blame anyone never a personal attack..